People often tell me I hardly say the word 'sorry' after each mistake I've made.
That person especially is my mum....
Yes....I hardly tell her I'm sorry....
Probably at times I'm stubborn...I know I am.
But most of....
It's for myself...
I always say sorry to myself...
I felt sorry for myself...
That feeling....is something I hate....
But it's hard to get away with....
When things goes wrong...
Or I've ruin the expectation of people...
I feel sick....cos I'm sorry.
I often say it to myself....
With "oppa" by my side...
I looked at him and tell him how sorry I am that day with tears in my eyes....
He only looked at me and smile....
Although he didn't say much....
But I know....he loves me.
I remembered....once he told me, "Gwenchanna..."
I keep that word....
I tell myself.....'gwenchannayo'....after each terrible day I faced.
It helps....
It might not be much....but to me it means the world.
People yelled at me...when I did something wrong,
People push my head....when it's my mistake,
People tell me I'm not good enough....when I'm trying my best,
People tell me I'm stupid....when I didn't know much,
People tell me I'm useless....when they hardly know me,
People tell me I'm just dreaming....when all I ever want is you....
I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself....or for other people...cos I don't see the benefit.
I hate it when someone keep on saying the word sorry when all they ever did was replay.
I'm sick of the word SORRY
It means less now that I've lost the real meaning of it.....
p/s: don't ever say the word sorry so easily when you know you'll do it again. keep it to yourself till you know you are ready to say it only once....and once only.
I feel that way....
That I was made of stone.
Feelingless......was the way to describe me.
I feel no appetite to eat...
So not me right?
I don't feel the need to sleep...
Insomniac....
Must be the stress....
I can't feel pain...slicing through my fingers...
But I can feel the pain in my heart when you stab me right through the chest.
It hurts yes...
No one promise that it won't hurt...
Who am I to kid anyway.
I can hardly breathe....
Metaphorically and of course literally.
Why you asked me?
Let's just say that there are some people who happens to be my good friend....and who are addicted to nicotine.
I'm dying...I can feel it.
I wonder how long can I stand this.....this crap all together!
It's never enough wasn't it...?
For me to go down.....it was never enough.
I knew it!
It's 2.05am and I'm pretty much rambling....
What am I to do when you're not around?
I promise that I'll be good....
I promise to be strong....
But nothing goes away.....it just keeps on pilling like heavy load pf mountains on my back...
One after another....
I want to get away...
Far from this misery....
Before I could catch my last breath...
I just want to tell you how much I've missed you.....
p/s: why is that eventually you'll leave me alone? why?
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