Kitty Insomnia

People often tell me I hardly say the word 'sorry' after each mistake I've made.
That person especially is my mum....
Yes....I hardly tell her I'm sorry....
Probably at times I'm stubborn...I know I am.
But most of....
It's for myself...
I always say sorry to myself...
I felt sorry for myself...
That feeling....is something I hate....
But it's hard to get away with....

When things goes wrong...
Or I've ruin the expectation of people...
I feel sick....cos I'm sorry.
I often say it to myself....
With "oppa" by my side...
I looked at him and tell him how sorry I am that day with tears in my eyes....
He only looked at me and smile....
Although he didn't say much....
But I know....he loves me.

I remembered....once he told me, "Gwenchanna..."
I keep that word....
I tell myself.....'gwenchannayo'....after each terrible day I faced.
It helps....
It might not be much....but to me it means the world.

People yelled at me...when I did something wrong,
People push my head....when it's my mistake,
People tell me I'm not good enough....when I'm trying my best,
People tell me I'm stupid....when I didn't know much,
People tell me I'm useless....when they hardly know me,
People tell me I'm just dreaming....when all I ever want is you....

I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself....or for other people...cos I don't see the benefit.
I hate it when someone keep on saying the word sorry when all they ever did was replay.
I'm sick of the word SORRY
It means less now that I've lost the real meaning of it.....




p/s: don't ever say the word sorry so easily when you know you'll do it again. keep it to yourself till you know you are ready to say it only once....and once only.