I'm trying to hold on to this pain...
All of it in one go.
It hurts.....it's painful.
I'm starting to cave in now...
No longer aware of the world outside of me.
I'm naive.
I'm no longer whole.
The whole is too bitter for me to swallow.
The people.....those attitudes.....it's eating me from inside.
Why must you said things you don't mean?
Why must you make promises you can't keep?
Why must you hold on to me when all you ever did was hurting me?
Why...?!
I'm too vulnerable for all your shits and dramas.
I don't need them.
I need you.
Something that I can't have.
What was sorry in the first place when all it ever means to you was just an excuse to get away from all those mistakes you've done.
Yes, people makes mistakes....
But the things you do was just silly to commit.
I'm disappointed.
By you and everything else in between.
I'm angry.....I'm furious....
But don't ever take so lightly the words I said.
I mean them...even when you think I don't.
I don't play around with my words like you do.
Even when you think it as a joke, to me it wasn't even funny to begin with.
When can you ever take me seriously?
I'm not a toy for you to play around with.
Maybe...
Maybe when some day I'm no longer around....
Then....
Then you might take me seriously.
As for now.....you may fool around.
But I'm not here to play your game.
It's too childish for me.
I'm beyond all of that.
p/s: regrets are man-made mistakes. you may cry over it, but that won't change anything. especially when i'm no longer there....
Devil as
Kim Mi Ra
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Devil as
Kim Mi Ra
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Happy birthday sweetheart!
You're 26 now, on the 26th of January.
Today would be your special day.
It is....afterall, every day is special to me when you are around.
I celebrated your birthday today.
With the rest of the Cassies.
As always.....
Each year, I'll buy a cake to celebrate your birthday.
Even when you're not around.
It's ok cos I know one day you'll be here....
You might not be in front of me right now, but in my heart....you're always there.
Each year...I'll buy a present for you.
Each year...I make a wish for you.
This year.....I hope you can make it here cos I've missed you....
For more than 3 years of not seeing you....I've gone insane.
I want to see you, I need to see you....
Seeing your birthday wish makes me smile.
Knowing that you're doing well....
I know you are strong...
I wish I could do the same.
When you tell me that "it will be good if all bad things vanish from today and thereafter, and everyone could be happy...."
I believed you....I really do.
I hope it's true.
Since I'm crumbling inside out.....I can no longer stand on my own.
I need you to pick me up again.....like how you did 5 years ago.....
I hope to keep on celebrating your birthday....each year without fail.
And one day....you'll be right here next to me.
"김재중, 생일 축하 해요 오빠~!!! ♥♥♥"
p/s: my love for you is pure, no matter what others say. i know deep in my soul, you are there for me.....loving me, believing me & dream with me when no one did.
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