Am I in denial?
I wouldn't know up till today.
Well, not completely that is.
"I should have told you this 4 years ago....which I didn't. So, here goes since I don't think it'll make much difference now anyway....."
That's what I told him as I stare at the red light traffic ahead of me that shows 99 seconds more to go till the green light.
I dialed your number hoping you'll pick up my call. You did. My heart broke into a million pieces, not in a bad way....more to nervousness & utter lonesome of stupidity. Right, I wasn't thinking straight when I decided to confess. Or maybe I was high on lime juice? God knows......
"I love you...."
Those words didn't came out as strong as it intended. But I did. I feel light as the burden of denial lifted up from my worry chest that's been keeping this secret for a long time. 4 years is a long time, right?
Your responses was expected and the rest was history. I don't have to elaborate more as you laugh away with glee when I confess my heart out. Or did I?
I can sense the big satisfaction in your voice as I said those sacred words......which clearly shows my defeat to you. Dammit!
But hell, it's ok to give in once in a while. The feeling is great. (phrased taken from Tiqa)
Thanks cousin for the advice. =.~
What Am I in Denial of?
: I feel lost whenever you're not around me :
: I feel sad when you ignore me :
: I feel sad when you start doing things you shouldn't, that's when I do it as well. Even if it makes me sick or ill :
: I'm so used to having you right next to me :
: I'm so used to dialing your number when I need someone to talk to, even when you're not on my speed dial and I've deleted you off my phone so that I can forget you :
: I'm so used of having you to put up with all of my nonsense and shits when no one can :
: I'm so used to have my phone filled with your smses :
: I'm so used of arguing with you for the simplest things that when you're gone, I hardly talk :
: I cry each time I think I'm losing you :
Then I realised........I need you as much as you need me.
p/s: you might think that I don't love you when the fact is I did.
=)
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