Kitty Insomnia

Sometimes, I wish.....you were that simple for me to figure out.
Think again.

Sometimes, I hear your voices.
Talking to me.
Telling me things you said before.
Its all like a replay mode, stuck in my head.
Am I crazy?

Sometimes, I smile thinking of you.
Am I insane?

Here I am......3 in the morning.....
Figuring me out.
It's hard.
When you only have this much in heart and a hell lot to cover.

Partly, I'm missing you.
Another half, wanting to forget you.
Like what Darren told me once,

"One day, you'll come back from KL and tell me you're over him."


A part of me is scared that it'll happen, another part can't wait for it to happen.
Since I tried to get over you.......
I guess tried isn't a good word to describe me.
When you want something badly, you will do your best to get it.
Not just try.
It just won't work that way.

I guess I didn't wanna get over you.
Since trying is the least I'll do.

I suck at that.
Trying stuff.
Pretending that I'll manage.
Silly.


It's sad sometimes to see people put high hopes on you by thinking that you'll cope with almost everything that was left in your face, deal with it successfully and walk away empty handed.
I'm not like that.
Doesn't mean I didn't show you how much I'm struggling, it means I'm alright.

I can plaster the biggest smile on my face for you, but can you see the coat of tears in my eyes?

No, you didn't.
You tell everyone that I'm ok, when the fact is I'm not.



I hate growing up.
It's when you have to deal with things you hate.
Is life full of hatred?

Being a child is bliss.
Can I just stay that way?

I wanted to plug away the sympathy I put on myself and move on.

The sunshine is beyond reach for me.
How come?
Where does the rainbow disappear to after each rain storm?



At times, sometimes...
When I see you, I feel brave enough to smile and forget about the world I'm living in.
But what happen when I don't get to see you?
My life crumbles beneath the sole of empathy patheticness.

Would you be there for me to pick me up so that I'll walk again?
Or would you just leave me there to die?



This time, I'm trying to pick up the pieces.
All by myself.









p/s: oh, where oh my cheerio, oh where have you been? life is incomplete without you. blow me a kiss, send me a letter, let me know you're breathing cos I'm dying without you.




=)