Kitty Insomnia

I gotta admit. I suck at writing in Malay.
The last time I ever wrote anything long, flowery and meaningful is 7 years back in high school for SPM.
Now.....I can proudly say that my Malay writing skills are deteriorating.

You can't really put the blame on me.
Come on.....I was practically raised in an English education system although my mum is Chinese and dad is Arab.
I was educated in a Methodist Girl School.
I was raised with English speaking parents at home & half of the time in the guest house where foreigners talk to me in....English. What else.
The only time I speak Malay was with my grandma next door who babysits me when my parent's aren't around, busy working.
I wasn't allowed to run around wild in the neighborhood for certain reasons.
I just stay at home with my bro when I'm the age of 4.
I only speak Malay when my cousins from KL came for holidays and raya.
Then again, it was broken Malay with Malaccan slang. (you know the drill)
I tried speaking English with my Chinese cousins but they all seem lost, so I learn Mandarin.....just for a couple of years....then I'm back in track.....English.
The old generation where I live, speaks pretty much harsh Malays. (duh, Malaccans)
Therefore, I wasn't allowed to copy paste or copycat what they're saying cos mum bans it.

When I was in pre-school or kindergarten, I was taught according to Oxford and Cambridge English.
When I went to primary, I was the only so-called Malay girl who can speak proper English in class.
Thus, I don't really have much friends that are Malay since they find me snobbish....for speaking in English. pfft~ Seriously girls......you must be bored.
I spend more time with Chinese than Malay....even till I'm in high school.
Not to say I'm racist.
I have a few good friends up till today that are Malays who wouldn't mind my language at all.
From them, I learn how to speak in Malay, although not that proper but it was a good start with 'aku & kau'.

Mum find it rude when I talked to them using informal Malay but to them it's normal & I get the hang of it soon enough.
I feel comfortable with them....since they don't judge me. They accept me.
My other friends are either mix or 'rojak' as me or they are Chinese 'banana' who don't speak any Chinese at all, just English.

As I grew older & went to university, Limkokwing to be exact....I was stuck in the English speaking realm again.
Look around....there are foreigners everywhere & the only time I see more than 10 Malay people in class was during Agama for LAN.
There I go....walking through adolescences in English.

No, I'm not from UK please don't mistaken me.
Neither that I'm Malay, I'm just a Muslim, there's a big different.
Yes, I grew up in this little town call Melaka.
And yes I speak English.
Is that a problem???


Then again, people can be weird.
Sometimes they think you're a freak just because you don't speak the same language as them or they think you're showing off just because you know a certain language that they don't.

Nonetheless, I'm trying my best to fit in this society where Malay rules Malaysia tho it sucks at a certain point.

Even my my SPM results shows that my English is better than my BM, I didn't cry.
Instead I feel blessed that God give me the opportunity to be good in something.
Alhamdullillah. =D


Oh, I'm tryign to learn Korean now. It's not a bad thing. Mum doesn't seem happy when I pick Korean out of Mandarin. Oh goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......dread~






p/s: my imagination speaks louder than my words.



=)